Okay, but how do you actually get the guy?

Here on how to get the guy 101, I talk about a series of subjects relating to dating, dates and dudes. Although a reader seems to want to know the impending question this blog seems to bring up - How to actually get the guy.

This reader wrote, "I've been reading your posts and interesting as they've been, I still don't know how to successfully ask the guy out."

First of all, if I really was an expert, I'd give you a play by play of smooth moves you can throw to score that end goal, but life isn't always going to give you what you want for considerably a lot of different reasons. What I can do is give you a helping hand in the direction you want to go in.

Seeming chilled is better than seeming crazy.

The thing with guys is they get scared very easily when you seem too overly interested, overly indiscreet, or overly anything for that matter. Text messages are preferred to phone calls for the first few weeks and replying every hour seems to work more efficiently than responding immediately. It's kind of like you want to seem less interested than you actually are, but not uninterested.

Subtlety is the way to go.

Keep the flirting interactions alive, but don't invest in it too much. Think of it as Sims. You really just want to give them compliments until they start taking them the right way. There's no need for hearts or winky faces if you can woo someone with the right amount of words. It also won't seem creepy or unpleasant for that matter.

Give them the center stage

Guys love talking about themselves, and with the right amount of questions, good conversations and cute messages you can get a man wrapped around your little finger. The key is listening. Make an effort to ask about their day, and listen to their response. If something was wrong, ask about it. If something went right, ask about it. You'll seem caring, and that's a quality not a lot of people possess.

Get in their mindset

It's not a crime to ask someone what kind of head space they're in at the moment. You deserve honesty and integrity, and if you feel that the guy isn't ready for a relationship or anything serious, ask him. If anyone can ask, it's you, and you don't even have to make a thing about it. Otherwise consider things like : When did their last relationship end? If the answer is anything shorter than two months, you'd rather want to stay away. Even if they do go out with you, you'll be labelled as the rebound.

And finally, ask them out.

There's no need for grand gestures or romantic symbolism. Asking someone out is as simple as asking, "Hey do you wanna grab coffee sometime?" Judging by their answer, you can say "Cool! It's a date." Or if you don't, you'll figure out whether it's a date in the first five minutes of the conversation. Look at body language, eye contact and nervous habits in that department.

Ending off, it's important to note that not everyone is going to like you. And that's okay. Not everyone has good taste anyway, and if rejection is something you're scared of, you're going to go through it - a lot. So better buckle up and make your move, because then at least you can say you tried.

Bonne journée,

The relationship "expert."