Just my type.

Up until recently I never saw anything wrong with dating guys that are your type. I mean, you're bound to be more compatible if the guy is familiar. Why should you date someone you wouldn't necessarily go for usually?

And this logic has kept my dating life on the spin for about a year, until a friend's advice made me realize how problematic it is. You never think about whether you're self sabotaging yourself for who you go for, but you usually do it subconsciously. And when I started tallying up the total - trying to see a pattern - it was clear as fucking daylight.

I've been seeing my ex over and over. In every single guy I've dated since February. It's like a spell, you're immediately attracted to the soft ocean eyes, the dimpley smile, the height - but it's so much more than that. It never occurred to me until now that the guy I dated most recently is so similar to my ex. He was polite, and smart, charismatic and funny, but he was also controlling and slightly manipulative - He made lying seem so morally justified.

While you like the positive traits of someone, you also start becoming attracted to the toxic ones. Being hurt and lied to, seems comforting in some messed up way. You're used to it, and no one ever notices that until you attempt to put the pieces together.

There's always a reason why your dating life is fucked. Why you seem to only go for the bad guys, but there was something inside of you, edging you to make that decision. So we should all acknowledge it. How it can go from there? Only up, I hope.

All my love,

The relationship expert.