Healing doesn't happen overnight.

Dearest readers,

Some of us are lucky - We walk out of a past relationship feeling less destroyed than when we walked into it, but that rarely happens - ever.

As Lily from How I met your mother once stated in her own wise words, it takes half the amount of the relationship to grieve and to finally feel free. Obviously that factor can vary, but in a lot of cases it seems to be true.

So what if you're not ready for a relationship? Or better yet, what if the guy you're interested in isn't? Maybe he's hurt, angry even, perhaps grieving. In some cases he could be a playboy tugging at you like a guitar. Pick up on the signs and you'll soon realise the difference. But I guess you'd like me to answer that: "How to get the most uncommitical guy to commit."

Truth is, you can't. As much as we wish we could, you can't change someone and you definitely can't fast forward their trauma. Ben Platt's song of "Grow as we go" can only be applicable if someone's willing to share their trauma with you. And if they don't, it doesn't make them a bad person, it just means that they want to walk this path of growth alone.

There's no set timer or ticking clock predicting when you'll wake up and not feel hurt, guilt or anger towards someone that you used to call "the one". So in the mean time, rather than putting yourself through that with someone you know isn't ready to fully commit, be honest with yourself and what you want. In the end it's your heart on the line and it's bound to be broken.

All my love,

The relationship expert.